Queen of the Bare Minimum
A few years ago, I would’ve told you that my dream self journals nightly, reads 2 books a month, learns Spanish for exactly 30 minutes a day, and hits the gym like clockwork every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
She’s structured. She’s intentional. She probably owns bras that match all her underwear.
But you know what else? She also doesn’t exist.
At least not in the way I thought she had to.
Because it turns out, all of those metrics weren’t based on anything that felt true to me. (Why 2 books a month? Who decided THAT?)
They were gleaned from lists of what makes someone successful, fit, smart, high-achieving.
And while I actually want to be all of those things, I realized one kind of important truth: I was gonna have to become all of those things, my way.
Because doing it their way was making me miserable. It felt like every day I was just marking a checklist, no actual living required.
And where’s the fun in that?
So I got curious (you know I did!). I started to notice when I was excited to read, to work out, to learn..and when I wasn’t.
Turns out, the pressure to perform for some fantastical metric was the thing robbing me of enjoying the activities. The activities themselves I wanted to do.
So I put my little lab coat on and got to experimenting with doing the MOST and doing the LEAST.
And you know what I found?
The moment I started doing the bare minimum on purpose? Everything shifted.
Instead of forcing myself to journal for 15 minutes every night, I began to just… show up to the page. Some nights, I wrote a single sentence or affirmation (“You did what you could, lol”) Other nights I write the next Great American (Canadian) Novel.
Instead of committing to a book a week, I simply decided to open a book before bed. Some nights, I read a paragraph. Other nights, I’m up till midnight lost in chapter fourteen.
Instead of trying to get to the gym three times a week for exactly 60 minutes, I aim to move my body every day and let my workouts last as long (or short) as I want.
And the wild part? I do more now. Because I’m showing up for myself, instead of for a checklist.
I journalled 60 days straight, missing 2 days total in January and February (and still consistently journal about 5 times a week).
I stopped choosing the “short” or “easy” reads, and just read what I wanted. Recently I read 6 books in 8 weeks.
I go to the gym 3-4 times a week now and still walk or hike at least 3-4 times a week as well.
Turns out, doing the bare minimum actually creates a pleasure cycle.
When your actions are tied to joy, you start reinforcing the why behind them. You feel good → you want to do it again. Not out of guilt or obligation, but because your reward centers are lighting up.
It’s sustainable. It’s self-honouring. It’s sneaky psychology at its best.
And it’s the opposite of optimization.
Most of us are out here trying to become a “better version” of ourselves—stronger, happier, more fulfilled.
But we’re burning out trying to perfect the process instead of designing one that’s actually livable.
Here’s the shift:
Stop trying to be the most efficient, optimized, high-performing version of yourself.
Start becoming your favourite self instead.
The one who reads because she loves stories.
The one who moves because it feels like freedom.
The one who writes to hear herself think - not to meet a word count.
Sure, there will be seasons for structure and grit. Some things do require effort and push.
But when it comes to building a life you actually want to live?
Start small. Stay kind.
And let the bare minimum be enough to begin.
Note: sometimes we have to do hard shit. So use the bare minimum sparingly, but especially when it comes to forming new habits around self-care or making life changes for the long haul!
This is not about letting yourself off the hook.
It’s about expanding your capacity to do more without overwhelm. And tuning into what actually matters to you, so you’re doing the right things.
Ask yourself:
How does my favourite version of me move through life?
What does she do, look like, wear?
How does she act, respond, work?
And most importantly perhaps, how does she feel doing it?
Then for everything you write down, ask yourself why. If you don’t have a why, scrap it. That’s how you stop living into a fake, idealized version of yourself, and really connect to the version of you…that’s for you.
Now use that why to fuel you - not a random metric. And get out there and BECOME the person who shows up to her life every single day.